


five & one

by ataraxia_807



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 12:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataraxia_807/pseuds/ataraxia_807
Summary: Five times Ashlyn almost proposed and the one time that she did.





	five & one

     The first time it occurred to her that Ali Krieger was the one, she didn’t even have the ring yet.

     It was the weekend of Syd and Dom’s wedding; they’d flown into Kansas City, enjoying an extended weekend in the hotel rather than exploring anything around them. Their bags were still on the couch, open only so they could pull their toothbrushes out, not worrying about wasting clean clothes under the blankets. Ali rolled over onto Ashlyn’s chest, nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck and groaning.

     “Do we have to get up?”

     “We do,” Ashlyn said, looking back to the nightstand and checking the time. “It takes you a million years to do your hair, Princess. We can’t be late.”

     “But I don’t wanna,” Ali pouted, pulling the sheets over both of their heads, scooting down until she could kiss Ashlyn’s stomach. “I need another nap.”

     “We’ve been ‘napping’ for two days.” Ashlyn scooted down with her, tangling their legs together. “It’s time to get up.”

     Ali stuck her tongue out and Ashlyn reached for it, catching only her bottom lip instead. They smiled at one another, folding their hands together between them.

     “I love you,” Ali said.

     Ashlyn’s reply got lost as she looked into her eyes; they never failed to captivate her. It was the first thing she’d noticed when they met – the way her eyes squinted when she smiled, thick eyelashes highlighting them. Ashlyn remembered barely stuttering out her name, taking Ali’s hand in her own for a handshake and not wanting to let go. Still, nearly six years down the line, not much had changed. Ashlyn cupped Ali’s face, rubbing her thumb against her cheek.

     “I love you.”

     Suddenly, her heart thrummed inside her chest, and her throat felt thick; she did love her, loved her more than anything else in the world. Ashlyn thought about their friends, how they were due to watch them vow to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives in just under three hours. She thought about the years that had passed with Ali by her side, even the years when it didn’t seem they’d make it through.

     Injuries, trades, doubts, fears, wandering eyes and insecurities; the two of them had navigated their relationship through a minefield and they still floated along. They had conquered the world together; standing on a stage in front of millions and just one another, they were undefeated as a team and just as them, and Ashlyn had wanted nothing so badly as she wanted to kiss her right there on the field that day.

     Ali’s eyes drifted closed, her breathing slow and even as she started to fall back asleep. Ashlyn watched her still, studied the lines on her face and the curve of her jawline; she could spend hours just watching her. Ashlyn could still see the youth in her features, remnants of the girl she’d met and had initially fallen in love with years before, mingled in with the definition of time and physicality. Her hair was longer, the laugh lines around her eyes deeper, and she was somehow still continuing to grow more beautiful as the days went by.

     Weddings with Ali always made Ashlyn exceptionally besotted. She could remember that night on the beach in Mexico, the cool breeze whipping around them as the sun set and the way they had walked closer together as night continued to fall. They’d happened upon a wedding ceremony and before they turned to go back, they were invited to join the festivities. It was spontaneous, and Ali had remarked that she was hardly dressed for a wedding, but Ashlyn had tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and promised her that she looked beautiful, and she was proud to be her date.

     Since then, they’d been each other’s date to many different events, but weddings were always special. No matter the award show, the banquet, the media affair, it didn’t match up to the summer night that Ashlyn had begun to fall in love with Ali. Even from that first night, Ashlyn had known how she felt. They sat side by side, eating slices of chocolate wedding cake and Ali watched the bride and groom perform their first dance. Ashlyn could only see Ali; couldn’t and wouldn’t fight the image of their own wedding, the daydream that Ashlyn would continue to build in the ensuing weeks.

 _Marry me_ , Ashlyn thought in the present, once again curling her thumb across Ali’s cheek and watching as her eyes started to dance beneath her lids. _Marry me_. She thought of Ali in a dress, Ali with a flowered bouquet, Ali in a veil; she thought of lifting the veil herself, hands trembling, and leaning in to have their first kiss as wives. Ashlyn played this reel in her mind all of the time, but it only ever came in clearer.

 _I want to marry you_.

     Ashlyn knew that the thought was real. She looked across at Ali, adored the way her mouth set into a pout when she slept, and she knew wholeheartedly that she meant it. She loved her, loved her more than she ever expected, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life having Ali as her permanent wedding date.

     Quietly, carefully moving as to not disturb Ali in her last thirty minutes of sleep, Ashlyn pulled out her phone to set a timer. Then, she wrapped her arm around Ali’s waist, breathing in the smell of her skin and hair as she trotted out her favorite daydream once more.

* * *

     The second time Ashlyn wanted to propose, it wasn’t her idea.

 **Ali** : here’s a rough edit of what I filmed 2day. Hope u like! :)

     Ashlyn had been in the gym, using the international break to get more workouts in. Ali was gone, off filming some promo that Ritz was doing as part of their Olympic sponsorship. It bothered Ashlyn a little that she wasn’t involved, though the initial gut punch of being left off of the roster had started to fade. She knew the situation going in, and although she had genuinely hoped to secure the second spot, there wasn’t room for three keepers.

     She was listening to music, laid back on the bench press and working up a good ache in her arms. Right as she was finishing her last set, she felt Ali’s designated text vibration from her phone on her chest. She sat up, wiping the back of her neck as she opened her messages. There was a video from Ali of herself sitting on a stool in front of a camera. Ashlyn knew they’d wanted some sort of stories about their childhoods, and Ali had been secretive up until the very end.

     Ashlyn pressed play and listened to Ali tell a story about looking for rocks as a kid. She vaguely remembered this story from one of their early dates, the two of them sitting in an ice cream shop in Germany and telling stories about when they were young. Ali looked gorgeous, simple makeup and outfit, but stunning as always. Ashlyn watched as the timer reached the end, excited to see it finished and on TV when something caught her attention.

     “I’m looking for one that’s shiny and smooth.”

     Ali grinned into the camera on the video, her left hand raised in the air. Ashlyn listened to what she was saying, even backing up the timer twice to listen again. _That little_ …

 **Ashlyn:** you’re such a brat

     Ali just responded with an emoji with its tongue sticking out and the heart eyes with a smile. Ashlyn tucked her phone back in her pocket and laid back down, situating herself beneath the bar. So, Ali wanted a ring and didn’t have a problem telling the world …

     They’d talked about it a little, going public with their relationship. However, even despite Ashlyn not making the Olympic roster, they were still national teammates and both of them were well aware of the non-fraternization clause in their contracts. It wasn’t so much that they would get kicked off for being together, it was about them being public about it. Everyone on the team as well as most of the people in US Soccer leadership knew that they were an item, and it was an unspoken agreement that they need not discuss the clause out loud.

     On the other hand, Ali and Ashlyn had been discussing their relationship one night, and Ali said something that surprised Ashlyn.

     “I wish we weren’t national teammates.”

     Ashlyn looked over at her from the other side of the couch. “Meaning?”

     Ali paused the TV, leaving Meredith Grey with a funny expression. “I wish we could … you know.”

     “Be out?”

     “Yeah.”

     Ashlyn thought a little, absentmindedly rubbing Ali’s feet where they sat in her lap. “It is getting kind of old, isn’t it?”

     “I just, I don’t know. I feel like such a fake.” Ali chewed on her thumb nail. “It’s like, I can be verbally supportive of the LGBT community, but here I am, happily sitting in my closet.”

     “I wouldn’t call it ‘happily’,” Ashlyn started, setting her feet down on the floor and scooting to lay next to her, “or a closet. Besides, being supportive of the community doesn’t mean that you have to like, broadcast your personal life. People have all sorts of reasons for not talking about their stuff, you know?”

     “You’re right,” Ali said, still with a furrowed brow. “But it would be nice to be able to tell people I love your stupid face.”

     Ashlyn was in the middle of another set when she felt her phone vibrate again. Setting the bar in the rack, she held her phone over her face and checked Ali’s message.

 **Ali** : food for thought ;) just in case you didn’t know I’m p much yours forever already

     Ashlyn laughed out loud, standing to put her weights away. She pictured Ali’s face if she knew; knew what was hiding, tucked safely away at the top of Ashlyn’s linen closet in the hallway. It was a box within a box within a box; a tiny square David Yurman box with a nice velvet case inside. Inside that case was a ring that Ashlyn was sure she’d love – Ali thought she was clever with her Pinterest board under a username she’d made back in high school, but Ashlyn had found it and that same ring was pinned no less than twelve times.

     All she was waiting for was the right time, but it wasn’t quite that. If Ashlyn were honest with herself, she’d been sure enough about Ali since they met. The only thing stopping her was the fact that both of them knew that they couldn’t be as open about it as they’d like. The unfairness tumbled into the pit of her stomach like a heavy stone into a lake; she thought about Alex and Syd, how they’d had big huge weddings, and everyone could see. It wasn’t fair that the two of them had to hide that they even enjoyed _looking_ at one another.

     The box would wait; wait for their careers to slow down, wait for the attitudes of the world to change. The one thing that would never change, Ashlyn knew, was that she was also Ali’s forever.

* * *

 

     The third time Ashlyn thought about proposing, the ring was in her pocket.

     It was just after four in the afternoon; the sun hanging low in the sky, late December bringing on twilight painfully early in the evening. Luckily, the boat they were on was anchored off the Atlantic coast of Florida and though the night was quickly approaching, the deck was warm enough for Ali and Ashlyn to lie together, hands entwined as they basked in the sunlight. It’d been a nice day of sailing, and the small yacht had an inflatable slide that had provided plenty of fun.

     It had been an exceptionally hard year, and Ashlyn knew Ali was still working through it. Early on, though they knew that it was coming, when the Spirit season began and Ashlyn was down in Orlando, Ali had a tough time getting used to it. For weeks she’d FaceTime Ashlyn every night, morosely relaying practice that day and pouting at their upcoming faceoffs. Ashlyn had actually been looking forward to playing against the Spirit, but it was something she dared not share.

     “I just, it’s not the same when you’re not behind me. Like, it’s not even about a relationship thing either. You’ve always been such a good keeper and you know; we have a _thing_.” Ali picked at her fingernails, looking down from the screen. “It’s just … I miss you being on my team.”

     “I’m always on your team, baby.” But immediately, Ashlyn knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.

     Ali rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. Don’t be flippant.”

      “I’m not being – Babe, look at me.” It took her a few moments, but Ali relented, tilting her head to the side and looking into the camera. “I’m not being flippant, I promise. I know you’re still upset babe, but it’s going to be okay. Just a few years –”

     “ _Years?!”_ Ali exclaimed, covering her eyes. “I don’t want to wait years, Ash.”

     “Well,” Ashlyn started delicately, “you said you want to stick with the Spirit as long as you can, and I’m not gonna – well, we just bought the house babe. It’s not like I can leave.”

     Ali couldn’t argue with the logic, but it didn’t stop her from flopping backwards onto her bed. “I hate this.”

     It had gotten worse by time the summer came and went.

     The national team’s showing at the Olympics had been so bad that Ali didn’t even want to talk about it for weeks. Ashlyn couldn’t remember a time when she’d been so down, even back to when she tore her ACL. The few times that Ashlyn had tried to talk about it, it always turned into an argument.

     “Don’t you understand?” Her eyes, normally so sparkling and vibrant were sharp and virulent, her mouth set hard as she searched Ashlyn’s face. “I was the oldest first time Olympian for women’s soccer, Ashlyn. There’s _not_ going to be a next time. This was it. This was my one fucking opportunity to bring home an Olympic medal and we fucking _blew_ it.”

     “You don’t know that,” Ashlyn said softly, watching her from the bed. “I mean, it’s just four more years. You’ll still be –”

     “ _Old_ , Ashlyn. I’ll be old. And I don’t _want_ that at fucking 35, 36, you know? I want to be moving on with our lives and making a home together and having babies. I don’t want to train my ass off and break my body down and play fucking politics for a spot when I just had the opportunity in hand. That wasn’t us. That wasn’t the team that – the team that just got their asses handed to them weren’t world champions.”

     Ashlyn didn’t say anything – it still didn’t feel good, being left off of the roster, but she didn’t think it was time to bring that up. She didn’t know how to explain to Ali that at least she’d had her time in the sun as a starter. Standing next to Hope Solo, Ashlyn was an extremely distant second place at the best of times. At least she’d been able to go to Brazil; Ashlyn had waited at home, training with the Pride and trying not to get sick with jealousy.

     But it didn’t matter – she saw as the tears began to pool in Ali’s eyes and Ashlyn went to her without question. As she wrapped her arms around her, feeling Ali begin to shake with quiet sobs, she remembered that it wasn’t about who had it worse – they were a team and always would be.

     A shiver ran through Ashlyn, and Ali squeezed her hand.

     “Cold?”

     “Nah,” Ashlyn replied, scooting closer to Ali’s body, nudging their hips together. Her stomach dropped for a second until she realized that the slim ring box was on the other side. “Just thinkin’.”

     “About what?” Ali asked, turning her face back towards the sky.

     Ashlyn shrugged. “It’s been a year.”

     Ali scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”

     Ashlyn sat up on her elbow, turning to look at her. She was quiet, watching as Ali enjoyed the sunlight. She traced the veins in her arms, following up through her shoulder and onto her neck. Once there she trailed down, on top of the fabric of her bathing suit down to her navel.

     “Ash.”

     “Hmm?”

     “What’s on your mind?”

     Ashlyn didn’t know how to answer; truly, she was thinking about how to transition from the disasters of the year and how they could walk into 2017 in a few weeks as fiancées. They weren’t getting any younger, and after being denied a spot for Brazil, Ashlyn wondered if her time with the national team wasn’t coming to an end. Soon, the non-fraternization clause may not even apply, and they could be open about their relationship.

     But as she laid next to Ali, thinking back on the hardships she’d faced and how much she was trying to finally overcome them to leave them in 2016, Ashlyn realized that it wasn’t the right time. She didn’t want her proposal to be a solution to Ali’s pain in the sense that somehow Ashlyn was what she needed to be fulfilled. No matter how much she loved Ali, she was never one that needed rescuing. When they were ready to be engaged, it would be because they _chose_ to be, not because it was some sort of Olympic consolation prize.

     “Just how happy I am to be here with you,” Ashlyn said, bringing Ali’s hand to her mouth for a kiss. “And how bangin’ your body looks in that swimsuit.”

     “Hush you,” Ali said, but Ashlyn could see a grin playing at the corner of her mouth. “I’m trying to tan.”

* * *

      The fourth time that Ashlyn thought about proposing, Ali was singing the Spice Girls.

     They’d tied Chicago that night, but no one was anything less than raucously happy in the locker room afterwards. It was 90s night and the team decided that the best way to honor it was to have karaoke. They each took turns on solos and sang in groups together, trying to remember the dances from music videos and educating some of the younger ones on lesser known cult classics. Each of them had something in hand as a mic; hairbrushes, toothbrushes, blow dryers and Alanna was even using one of her cleats.

     Ali was standing on top of one of the benches, sockless and clad only in her dirty, grass-stained shorts and a sports bra, KT tape littered across her body. She had a bottle of dry shampoo in her hand, belting out Scary Spice’s solo in Wannabe, shaking her ass along to the beat on the stereo. Most everyone sang along, save for Ashlyn who sat back and watched bemusedly as she stripped the tape from her fingers and hands.

     It made her think of the time they’d driven from their place in DC to her parents’ house, Ali’s ultimate Spice Girls playlist on Spotify blasting through Ashlyn’s speakers. They’d sang as loudly as they could, and by the time they’d gotten there, they both desperately needed water and to rest their vocal cords. Ashlyn had loved watching Ali sing along, laughing out loud as she danced along to every beat.

     Ashlyn thought about how much fun they always had. It was one of the best strengths in their relationship that no matter what was going on, how bad a fight was or how sad some situation was, they could always have some silly time together and reset. Though she came across as serious, focused and proper, Ali was actually a total goofball. One of her favorite things was watching America’s Funniest Home video compilations until she was snorting with laughter.

     And God, did she have the best laugh. Ashlyn could hear it perfectly in her head when they were apart and never got tired of hearing it when they were together. She always sounded so joyful, so delighted, that it infected everyone around her. She would smile so hugely, her eyes twinkling, and her nose scrunched, freckled cheeks drawn tight with dimples. She was easily the most beautiful woman in the world, and that was just on her worst days.

     Ashlyn thought about the ring, thought about how she’d been moving it recently as Ali had finally fully moved in. It’d been a chore to get all of their things put away, something Ashlyn hadn’t expected. Still, once they’d put in months of work, their house was a home. It was something that they’d agreed to share early on. When they bought the house, Ashlyn knew that social media posts would be made there, and once Ali joined the Pride, it would be painfully obvious where she lived.

     They were starting to get more and more comfortable, occasionally posting things that would have their Twitter notifications going nonstop. Most of the time, the comment sections would be turned off on Instagram if only so they didn’t have to read the same hashtag over and over. It was nice in a way, and definitely funny. She fought the urge to correct people – particularly the ones that vehemently chastised the believers. She wanted to say that the people that had been dissecting every move for the last six years were right, but that would certainly flip everyone’s lid.

     Something else was changing, too. It looked more and more like Ali’s time with the national team was over. Ashlyn had braced herself, especially when Ali had voiced that she didn’t believe she would ever see 100 international caps. Still, though she expected a full meltdown, Ali took it in stride. Ashlyn knew that it upset her, but after the Olympics the year before, Ali had learned to let things slide around her.

     As soon as the official word came, it would be time for a real conversation. For the time, Ashlyn was still battling it out for the top spot in the keeper pool, but if Ali was no longer on the national team, the non-fraternization clause would finally no longer apply to them. They’d be able to discuss their relationship openly and share it with their community.

     They’d spoken once or twice about sponsorships, wondering idly who would drop them, if anyone. Most of the big names had already stood by other LGBTQ athletes, and they didn’t think that there would be a problem for them should they join the ranks. Also, with Ashlyn’s new partnership with Umbro, she’d led with their relationship early and made it clear that it wasn’t up for discussion. She let them know that when they were ready to go public, Umbro had one option – be on board. Luckily, her representatives had wholeheartedly agreed, and Ashlyn felt the tide begin to turn.

     They already acted engaged. In fact, just a few weeks earlier, Ali had nearly bought a coffee mug emblazoned with “Feyoncé” before Ashlyn stopped her.

     “Who’s that for?” she asked, picking up the mug from the cart.

     “Me, dummy,” Ali said. “I need a new mug.”

     “Jumping the gun, huh?”

     “What are you talking about?”

     “We’re not engaged yet.”

     “Oh. Well – I mean, you know, basically we are. Whatever, I’m getting it anyway.”

     More and more, the little box in the closet called to her. She had started bringing it along on outings more and more frequently, waiting for the right moment to strike. Though she knew the national team issue still lingered, she could feel something beginning to change.

     The song finished, and the next came on – Mambo Number 5. Marta took over, jostling Ali down from her spot and leading the group on while Ali walked over to sit next to Ashlyn on the bench.

     “You’re not joining in the festivities,” she noted, panting.

     “I’ve been enjoying the show,” Ashlyn replied, motioning towards the group. The girls were dancing around, each of them showing off their best moves. “I can’t wait until we get to Salt n’ Pepa.”

     “I can rap all of Shoop!” Ali said proudly, leaning back and gingerly pulling the tape from her body.

     It was still hard not to look at her in the locker rooms. They’d agreed from the offset that they’d never make any of their teammates uncomfortable, and even if everyone was happy for them, they wouldn’t bring their relationship into any team facility. Mostly, it was a welcome rule. Part of Ashlyn really enjoyed being able to focus on friendship with Ali in these moments, reveling in all of the different facets of her that sometimes she’d miss while being her girlfriend.

     Still, every time that Ali undressed, Ashlyn’s eyes were drawn to her. It didn’t matter how many times she’d held her body close, how many times she’d kissed every curve, how many times they’d showered together; it was some sort of mandate in Ashlyn’s brain to never miss an opportunity to appreciate Ali’s naked body. She tried to be as nonchalant about it as possible, standing and busying herself with the keypad on her locker as Ali pulled her sports bra off.

     “You, uh, you wanna go out for dinner tonight or cook something at home?” Ashlyn asked, scoping the curve of Ali’s back as she pulled on a clean bra and t-shirt.

     “Mmm,” Ali started, wiggling out of her shorts. The tail of her t-shirt, _my t-shirt_ Ashlyn thought, dropped down just below the curve of her ass, barely showing more than some of Ali’s tiny bikinis. “Can I be super horrible and request McDonald’s? I was thinking about their pancakes the other day. I haven’t had them in like, years. All of this 90s music and 90s stuff reminds me of being a kid and eating them all the time.”

     “I can go for some nuggets,” Ashlyn said, pulling on a clean shirt.

     “Ba da da da daaa,” Ali sang, pulling her jeans up and slipping into her flip flops. “The golden arches beckon. Let’s go!”

     Ashlyn followed her out of the locker room, waiting until they were just beyond the outside gate to take her hand.

* * *

The fifth time that Ashlyn thought about proposing, it came damn close.

It was an early morning for both of them. Logan, their new puppy, was in the middle of crate training and she wasn’t enjoying a single second of it. No matter how much they tired her out before bedtime, inevitably around one in the morning, they’d both wake up to the sound of high-pitched puppy cries from the kitchen.

“I’m going to go get her.”

“No, Ash,” Ali croaked, voice thick from sleep, “she needs to learn that her cage is where she sleeps and it’s safe. She’ll settle herself back down.”

Twenty minutes later, Ali sighed when Ashlyn sat up in bed and looked over at her.

“It doesn’t sound like she’s settling down.”

“Well, she’s not coming in here,” Ali said, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed to find her slippers.

It turned out that all Logan wanted, after going outside to pee, was some playtime with her moms. Immediately, she ran to her toybox and pulled out a rope, dragging it over to Ashlyn and trying to coax her into a game of tug of war. Ashlyn grabbed the end, playfully growling and yipping back at Logan as the two of them laid their bellies on the cool tile floor, the rope sliding between them.

“This isn’t helping her learn bedtime,” Ali griped, leaning to pick Logan up. “She needs to go back to sleep.”

“Aw, come on mom,” Ashlyn playfully whined, grinning up at her. “Five more minutes?”

“You can sleep out here with her then,” Ali said, lowering Logan down onto her bed and latching the gate shut. Immediately, the yipping and crying began again. “No ma’am,” Ali chided. “Go lay down.”

“But she’s sad,” Ashlyn pouted, giving Ali puppy dog eyes of her own. “I don’t like to hear her crying.”

“Well I don’t like the idea of having a giant dog that has no discipline because we started off breaking our own rules. She’ll stay in her cage until morning and that’s the end of it.”

It was no shock to anyone that in less than forty-five minutes, the three of them were playing on the living room floor. Each time that Logan would settle down and they tried to transition her back into her cage, the crying would begin again. Ashlyn reasoned with Ali that they wouldn’t get sleep anyway if they tried to go back to bed, so they might as well stay up with her so she would be comfortable.

“Another cup of coffee?” Ashlyn asked as Ali yawned hugely, stretching her arms overhead.

“I think I’m 85% coffee right now,” Ali replied, smacking her lips. “What time is it?”

“Just before seven,” Ashlyn said, leaning back to check the clock on the dining room wall. “Sun’s going to be up soon.”

Ali groaned and reached forward to grab Logan where she was chewing on a small red Kong toy filled with peanut butter spray. “Why are you such a little demon?”

“Cute little demon,” Ashlyn said, scooting over to them and scratching Logan’s belly. “Just think, she’d probably sleep just fine in bed with us.”

“Oh yeah,” Ali replied, rolling her eyes. “It’ll be great until we wake up in the middle of the night with pee all over us. Or worse.”

“How do you think it’ll be when we have kids?”

“I think we’ll need plenty of batteries for the baby monitors in their rooms.”

“You’re saying that now, but I bet by the third night the kid is in bed with us.”

“No way! Co-sleeping is a deal breaker, you know that.”

They glared at one another teasingly, too tired to go into a formal discussion. It amused Ashlyn, the way that Ali stuck so strictly to rules and guidelines with Logan. She’d always loved watching her play with babies and toddlers, listening to the way her voice jumped octaves in baby talk and laughing at her funny faces. Ali was a natural around kids, and Ashlyn could always imagine her with their baby daughter, wrapped around her tiny little finger.

However, as fun as she was, she wasn’t afraid to set the rules. Time and time again, when Ashlyn called for flexibility, Ali would remind her that discipline early on set a smoother course later on down the line. Thus, Ashlyn knew that there was very little reason to attempt to debate Ali on the rules she’d made with Logan. Until Ali relented, there would likely be multiple nights of them up late soothing their puppy.

The three of them watched the morning news, halfway listening to the stories and instead attempting to teach Logan simple commands like sit, stay, and shake. The sun crept higher in the sky, leaking through the blinds and warming up the house; Logan ran through the living room, zooming with energy after the red pinpoint of a laser that Ashlyn kept in front of her. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Logan let out the tiniest of puppy yawns and padded over to where Ali was stretched out on the couch. She cried softly, reaching up to lick Ali’s knuckle.

“Ugh, okay,” Ali said, reaching down and scooping Logan up. Immediately, the puppy curled onto her chest, nestling in with a soft sniffle and letting her eyes close. “Shut up,” Ali said with a smile, her eyes cutting over to Ashlyn.

“Didn’t say a word,” Ashlyn replied, watching Ali’s lids get heavy as well.

It wasn’t very long before she could hear both of them snoring softly from the couch. Ashlyn took a video and snapped a few pictures, taking a moment to post one on Instagram before muting the TV. As long as everyone else was taking a nap, she wouldn’t waste the opportunity. She climbed onto the couch as well, her head near Ali’s and close enough to reach a hand out and run her fingers through Ali’s hair.

Ashlyn smiled to herself, imagining them just like this but with a baby in Ali’s arms instead. Logan would be with Ashlyn, or likely at the end with her own space, and there would be a tiny baby sleeping in her wife’s arms. Ashlyn looked over her shoulder, watched Ali sleeping and her heart could hardly take it. _My wife_ , she thought, looking at Ali’s face.

There was nothing stopping them now. Jill had been pretty clear with Ali during their last conversation; she shouldn’t expect an invitation to another camp, it was time for a new set of players to join the pool. It had hurt Ali initially, and she’d spent two days hovering between anger and sadness, ready to fly into a rant about her career and how she was still in her best shape at any given moment. It was especially delicate as Jill had called Ashlyn shortly after to let her know about the next camp and when they would be traveling.

Soon though, Ali began to let it go, focusing all of her energy on the Pride and the plan that she had for her own camp. _Those who can’t do, teach_. Ali had plenty of skill left to train both kids and adults alike, and she would excitedly discuss the plans she had for drills at any moment she came up with something new. Ashlyn was excited for her, and excited to watch the next phase of her career unfold.

With Ali no longer reserved for the national team, the clause that had long kept them quiet about their relationship expired. Now that they weren’t teammates there, it wasn’t a matter of fraternization – at least not at that level. The Pride was an entirely different organization, and it was unspoken that there wouldn’t be anything hindering their open relationship should they feel comfortable to discuss it. The only thing waiting now was their mutual decision.

Ashlyn had moved the ring. It was now in the very back of the bottom drawer of her nightstand, within immediate reach should the urge grab her. She thought of it as she watched Ali and Logan sleep, thought of quietly grabbing the ring and waking Ali up by kneeling on the floor next to her. She knew, Ali knew – they had bought a house together, were raising a dog together, and all of their plans were made together. They knew that they would be together for the rest of their lives, and the only thing that kept that from becoming a reality was the ring not yet being on Ali’s finger.

 _Will you marry me?_ Ashlyn mouthed the words, searching Ali’s sleeping face. She’d been longing to say them out loud for some time, even whispering them at night when she knew Ali was sleeping. _I love you and I’ll always love you. Marry me._

 _Soon_ , Ashlyn thought, winding a strand of Ali’s hair around her fingers. Maybe one more season to enjoy their life together quietly and then it would be time.

* * *

     When the moment arrives, Ashlyn doesn’t feel anything but joy.

     When she planned the trip to Clearwater, she wasn’t totally sure that _this_ would be the trip. They’d done a fair amount of traveling, had other vacations planned, and she didn’t know for sure that this would be the one.

     But something that morning had told her to bring the ring along. Ali had been in the bathroom, blow drying her hair so they could go out to lunch before hitting the beach, and Ashlyn had been laying in the living area next to the balcony. She wasn’t doing anything but listening to the waves down below, but then she heard Ali’s humming mixing in. Ashlyn smiled to herself, so grateful for Ali’s presence in her life and something whispered _Maybe just bring it along today._ She’d knelt down next to her suitcase, surreptitiously pulling the ring from its hiding place and sliding it into the zippered pocket of her shorts.

     The day had been spectacular. They’d had a lovely lunch with sweet cocktails, laughing together and talking about their plans for the holiday season. There were talks about Grenada, Virginia, Hawaii and more. Perhaps they’d even visit Europe in the year to come. It didn’t matter where they went so long as they went together. Ashlyn had reached across the table, taking Ali’s hand in hers and they smiled at one another. She was struck by the sheer confidence in their love, in their commitment to one another that she temporarily felt like crying.

     Luckily, the beach wasn’t very crowded despite it being a Saturday and still well within sunbathing season. They had laid a blanket down in the sand, and Ashlyn didn’t bother to do much more than kick her shoes off and rub a little sunscreen on her face. Ali mentioned that she hadn’t put a full face of makeup on just to have it smudged, but she still took precautions on her shoulders and legs before leaning back on her elbows.

     “You’re pretty,” Ali said, looking over at Ashlyn and grinning.

     “What do you want?” Ashlyn asked with a smirk, recognizing the tone of her voice.

     “This light is amazing.” Ali smiled widely, batting her eyelashes. “Could I get you to take some pictures of me?”

     “Golden hour,” Ashlyn replied, pulling out her cell phone. When she did, she felt the top corner knock against the ring box and her stomach did a small flip.

     Ali looked down at the lens, eyes smoldering. “How do I look?”

     “Like,” Ashlyn started, switching to portrait mode and then looking up at her. But before she could answer, the words died in her throat.

     She looked like the first spark that would go on to build the universe. She looked like the curls of the Northern lights rolling across the Arctic sky. She looked like snow-covered peaks of mountains, the jade green seas in the Caribbean, lush purple and pink fields of flowers in the French countryside, and yet it still wasn’t good enough. Her hair was blowing behind her in the breeze, and the sun lit up her face, but it wasn’t anything compared to her _eyes_. Those eyes. In all of Ashlyn’s dizziest daydreams, the reality of her eyes was always better.

     “You look … you look like Ali.”

     “Thanks,” Ali scoffed, smiling back at her as she took a picture.

     “No, I mean …” Ashlyn trailed off, snapping a few more shots as Ali looked out onto the water. “You’re so …”

     “I’m so …?”

     Ashlyn’s stomach tightened along with her chest; she felt the words coming, felt the wave of emotion building up behind what she was going to say. Suddenly, she knew that it was time. The moment that she’d been waiting for had finally arrived.

     “You are the most beautiful woman in the entire world, Ali.” Ashlyn spoke softly, but immediately got Ali’s attention. “You are brilliant, you’re strong, you fight for what you believe in and you build others up. You love with the power of every bit of your soul, and you have helped to make me who I am.”

     Ali listened quietly, watching Ashlyn as she continued. “I have loved you since the day we met, Ali, and I don’t mean that casually. I can remember the first moment I laid eyes on you, and I knew right away that my entire life had changed. There was some spark that was lit in my soul the first time that we spoke, and each day it grows. I – there are so many words and they’re still not good enough for just how much I love you.”

     “I love you,” Ali whispered, and Ashlyn could see the tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you so much, Ashlyn.”

     “The world is so big, and the universe is even bigger but without a doubt, it’s _you_ , Al. You are the reason that I’m here. You are the reason that I improve myself. You are the only reason I’ll ever need,” Ashlyn reached down in her pocket, pulling out the ring box with shaking hands, “for the rest of my life.”

     Tears fell from both eyes, dripping down Ali’s face and onto the sand below. “Ash …” she breathed, her eyes fixed on the box and then jumping back to look at Ashlyn. “I …”

     “I want to marry you, Alexandra Blaire Krieger. I want to live my life with you by my side. I want to raise kids with you, and watch grandkids grow with you, and any heaven in my universe would be you and I walking into it together.”

     Ali was positively crying, unable and unwilling to stop the tears as they rolled down her cheeks. “Ashlyn, oh my God, I love you so much.”

     “Ali,” Ashlyn said, maneuvering to kneel down on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

     She popped the box open, and the ring began to sparkle in the afternoon sunlight. Ali sobbed out loud once, unable to answer before she threw her arms around Ashlyn, crashing into her hard enough to knock them both backwards onto the sand. She nodded as she curled into her chest, crying and grasping at her shoulders while Ashlyn held her, careful to keep the box tightly in her hand.

     “That’s a weird ‘no’,” Ashlyn teased, her voice thick with her own tears. “Didn’t see that coming.”

     “ _Yes_ ,” Ali said, pulling back and looking at Ashlyn for a second before kissing her. “Yes, yes, yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you. Yes, every day for the rest of my life.”

     “Oh, sweet,” Ashlyn whispered, kissing Ali again. “I’m gonna have such a hot wife.”

     They sat up, Ali dabbing delicately at her eyes to avoid smudging her mascara, but Ashlyn didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was obvious she’d been crying. Instead, she just pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it on to Ali’s ring finger when she held it out, her own hands shaking.

     “How did you … I’ve wanted this ring for –”

     “Years,” Ashlyn answered with a nod. “SoccerxxKriegy728.”

     “You Pinterest stalked me!”

     “I mean, I can return it, if you’d like,” Ashlyn teased, starting to reach for the ring when Ali pulled her hand back.

     “Don’t you dare. It’s mine, no take backs.”

     “Good,” Ashlyn said, smiling and bringing her back in for a kiss. “Cause you’re mine, no take backs.”

     “Forever and ever,” Ali replied, her hands holding Ashlyn’s face.

     They stayed on the beach for a long time, until after the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon. Ali didn’t call her mom and Kyle until they’d gotten back to the hotel, only relaying enough to have them be the first ones before hastily hanging up and jumping onto the bed to climb onto Ashlyn’s lap. They didn’t talk about the details of anything else, worrying only about staying in that moment as long as they could.

**Author's Note:**

> Guyyyyys. Our faves are for realsies gettin' hitched. This has been an epic week, y'all.


End file.
